Nostalgia series- ‘Toilet’ humor

Some toilet humor…not sure about the humor part..but it did happen in the toilet:
When I started to stay up till late in the night for studies, most probably when I was in the 9th standard, the final trip to the toilet before going to bed, was always an adventure. When you switched on light, the first thing was to locate all the cock-roaches on the floor. It was their realm..their territory in the night and I was the intruder.Although, I was not necessarily afraid of them, but the thought of one running up your leg was not a comfortable one. So, in the manner in which Arnold’s bionic eye in Terminator 1 and 2, tracks and registers the objects in front of him, simialry, all the 4-5 cock-roach’s location would be identified and tracked in my brain. Most of them would just rush to the nearest dark spot to hide….some of them would rush back to their bunker, behind the commode…I call it a bunker as we just couldn’t destroy it or close it…they just kept coming back. ANyways…there was always one cock-roach who would stand its ground…maybe to impress his girlfriend or vice-versa (not sure how cock-roach romance works)…so, it was now me and the cock-roach…feet to face…the roach waving its tentacles…trying to smell any sign of fear in me…while I trying to guess its next move…trying to decide which feet to first move in its direction…it was a tense stand-off…all the adrenalin rushing through me…killing the urge to do what I actually came in for….most of the time it was cock-roach who made the first move…and it was in my general direction…and man…I would dance as if Veeru’s life depended on it. After some initial setbacks…I would regain my composure…the roach now slowly moving back to the bunker…full of pride and accomplishment….that’s when I would ruin his victory march with a mug full of cold water….those suckers didn’t like water…and to convey that point, it would take to flight…damn…worst case scenario..now you have pissed off flying cockroach to deal with in a tight space….well, when cornered, even a cat transforms into a ferocious tiger…so with nothing to lose…I would grab onto any ‘available piece of cloth’ ( desperate times call for desperate measures) and try to shoot down the ‘flying potty monster’…after some collateral damage ( destroyed plastic shelves, soap cases etc)…I would finally succeed to either hit it or get it caught in a spider’s web…the spiders would generally never eat such a huge prey…but the gecko(chhipkali), sitting nicely besides the light bulb, who till now was just a bemused spectator…would start moving in for its free dinner. While myself…with an inflated ego and bladder would now peacefully finish the task I came in for, feeling like Maximus, the Gladiator, after a tough fight in the colosseum. I knew I had just won a battle…and this battle would be played again next night…with a different challenger.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *