Encounter with real vampires in Patna

Mosquitoes…vampires in the truest sense of the word, who suck blood and kill people….although not as glamorously as those shape shifting bats in the Dracula story or whatever load of c#@p, was the twilight series. I really missed these suckers in the US. US does have mosquitoes, but they are very slow and docile and are easy prey for a Bihari who had developed a ‘state of the art’ Phased array radar and weapon systems to detect, track and destroy mosquitoes, both in the air and on the surface. He had been trained mainly on the smaller but highly advanced mosquitoes of Patna…these guys had developed a delayed fuse, which means you will come to know of an apparent mosquito bite, after the culprit had finished its mission and had left your vicinity. You had to be very very aware of any tingling feeling and take immediate action. Many a times, that action resulted in one-tight-slap on the cheeks or temples…and if the open palms showed the squished up body(s) of the target, the pain of the slap would be overruled by the feeling of pride and smugness of being able to inflict casualities on an unforgiving enemy. I had developed such skill at killing mosquitoes, that I would squish one with a finger and his wingman, parked 2 inches away on the wall, won’t become aware of it. I had special respect for the suckers who were able to penetrate my ‘plastic-dome’ (mosquito net) air defense system and attack me when asleep. But that respect didn’t mean that they could get away with such audacity. I would make it a point to search and destroy each one of the fully loaded bugs with swelled up bellies, full of my red hot blood. Then, there were such clever ones who would attack when you least suspected, in the day time. And they would bite in the nooks and crannies of your body, that you never knew existed, like the small fold of skin on the bottom of your smallest toe. Some of these suckers had evolved surgical tool like equipment, which would allow them to suck blood through thick jeans. I recall all this, as I am having a great sense of deja vu, as far as my constant interaction with the tiny annoying vampires is concerned. Luckily they don’t make us ‘one of them’ like their fictional counterparts. I thank my bloodthirsty enemies for making my stay more memorable.

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